1 00:00:06,837 --> 00:00:08,839 ( Christmas music playing ) 2 00:00:14,805 --> 00:00:15,805 OH! 3 00:00:15,806 --> 00:00:17,137 HONEY, CHECK THIS OUT. 4 00:00:17,138 --> 00:00:18,138 MADE IT IN THE SIXTH GRADE. 5 00:00:18,139 --> 00:00:19,139 PASTA CLAUS. 6 00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:20,940 AW, SO TALENTED. 7 00:00:20,941 --> 00:00:22,813 AND NOW, FOR THE FINISHING TOUCH. 8 00:00:24,985 --> 00:00:26,816 WH... WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 9 00:00:26,817 --> 00:00:28,198 PUTTING MY SILVER STAR ON TOP OF THE TREE. 10 00:00:28,199 --> 00:00:29,319 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 11 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,241 I'M PUTTING MY ANGEL ON TOP OF THE TREE. 12 00:00:31,242 --> 00:00:33,613 HONEY, MY GREAT-GRANDMOTHER MADE THIS ANGEL AS A CHILD 13 00:00:33,614 --> 00:00:35,746 IN ITALY OUT OF CORN HUSKS AND SUN-DRIED TOMATOES. 14 00:00:36,997 --> 00:00:38,748 I THINK IT DESERVES THE TOP SPOT ON THE TREE. 15 00:00:38,749 --> 00:00:40,620 UH, TRUST ME. MY SILVER STAR 16 00:00:40,621 --> 00:00:42,662 HAS MUCH MORE SIGNIFICANCE THAN THAT. 17 00:00:42,663 --> 00:00:44,254 OKAY, IT WAS MY GREAT-GREAT-GRANDMOTHER'S, 18 00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:46,005 AND IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT THE BURKES PASS DOWN 19 00:00:46,006 --> 00:00:47,297 FROM ONE GENERATION TO THE NEXT. 20 00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:50,930 YEAH, WELL, THAT AND A HIGH TOLERANCE FOR ALCOHOL. 21 00:00:50,931 --> 00:00:53,303 THERE'S A BEAUTIFUL STORY BEHIND THIS STAR 22 00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:55,054 AND I THINK, ONCE YOU HEAR IT, 23 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,847 YOU'LL AGREE THAT IT'S THE GREATEST CHRISTMAS STORY OF ALL TIME. 24 00:00:57,848 --> 00:00:59,809 THE GREATEST CHRISTMAS STORY OF ALL TIME? 25 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:02,312 HAVE YOU HEARD THE ONE ABOUT THE LITTLE BABY AND THE MANGER? 26 00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:04,854 OKAY, SECOND GREATEST. 27 00:01:04,855 --> 00:01:08,238 IT ALL BEGAN WITH MY GREAT- GREAT-GRANDMOTHER, MELANIE, 28 00:01:08,239 --> 00:01:10,320 OVER A HUNDRED YEARS AGO. 29 00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:11,861 MORNING, DEAR LISBETH. 30 00:01:11,862 --> 00:01:14,073 MY, YOU LOOK LOVELY. 31 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,575 IF ONLY I COULD CAPTURE AN IMAGE OF YOU 32 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:19,199 AND SEND IT IMMEDIATELY TO MY CLOSEST FRIENDS TO ADMIRE. 33 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,332 OH, MISS MELANIE, YOU'RE SUCH A DREAMER. 34 00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:24,414 LOOK AT THIS DECORATING TECHNIQUE I DISCOVERED. 35 00:01:24,415 --> 00:01:26,626 YOU SIMPLY PIN THE PAPER SNOWFLAKES OVER THE HOLES 36 00:01:26,627 --> 00:01:28,878 IN THE CURTAINS AND SUDDENLY YOUR HOME LOOKS... 37 00:01:28,879 --> 00:01:31,801 FESTIVE AND NOT SO POOR. 38 00:01:31,802 --> 00:01:35,305 HOW IT SADDENS ME THAT THIS IS WHAT HAS BECOME OF BURKEWOOD. 39 00:01:35,306 --> 00:01:37,427 I THOUGHT MY FATHER'S INVENTION OF THE HORSELESS CARRIAGE 40 00:01:37,428 --> 00:01:40,059 WOULD SET US UP FOR LIFE, BUT IT WENT NOWHERE. 41 00:01:40,060 --> 00:01:42,062 PERHAPS SOME SORT OF A MOTOR WOULD HAVE HELPED. 42 00:01:44,024 --> 00:01:46,816 WELL, STILL, YOU'VE GIVEN ME SUCH A WONDERFUL LIFE HERE. 43 00:01:46,817 --> 00:01:50,280 TELL ME, WHY DID YOU TAKE ME IN WHEN I WAS JUST AN ORPHAN WRESTLING 44 00:01:50,281 --> 00:01:52,442 A FELLOW STREET URCHIN FOR A MEAT PIE? 45 00:01:52,443 --> 00:01:54,904 HELPING THE LESS FORTUNATE IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO, 46 00:01:54,905 --> 00:01:57,658 AND OF ALL THE URCHINS IN THE GUTTER, YOU WERE THE CUTEST ONE. 47 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,410 SERIOUSLY? 48 00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:03,793 MELANIE AND LISBETH AT BURKEWOOD? 49 00:02:03,794 --> 00:02:07,046 HEY, DON'T INTERRUPT, OR I'LL FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO SHOVE THIS SILVER STAR. 50 00:02:07,047 --> 00:02:09,170 WOULD THAT FREE UP THE TOP OF THE TREE FOR MY ANGEL? 51 00:02:12,343 --> 00:02:17,518 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME ♪ 52 00:02:21,312 --> 00:02:22,932 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS OUR GOOD CHINA. 53 00:02:22,933 --> 00:02:25,936 IT LOOKS THE INSIDE OF PRESIDENT GARFIELD'S CHAMBER POT. 54 00:02:27,268 --> 00:02:28,898 IF I MAY, YOU SEEM A LITTLE 55 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:29,939 OUT OF SORTS OVER 56 00:02:29,940 --> 00:02:30,980 THIS DINNER WITH ALISTAIR. 57 00:02:30,981 --> 00:02:32,322 WELL, EVERYTHING MUST BE PERFECT 58 00:02:32,323 --> 00:02:33,863 TONIGHT SO THAT HE WILL PROPOSE. 59 00:02:33,864 --> 00:02:36,446 PROPOSE? BUT YOU DON'T LOVE HIM. 60 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,908 WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT? 61 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,450 WITHOUT HIS FAMILY'S FORTUNE, 62 00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:41,581 THE CREDITORS WILL FORECLOSE 63 00:02:41,582 --> 00:02:43,283 ON BURKEWOOD IN TWO DAYS. 64 00:02:43,284 --> 00:02:44,414 I MUST DO SOMETHING 65 00:02:44,415 --> 00:02:45,705 TO SAVE OUR BELOVED HOME. 66 00:02:45,706 --> 00:02:47,917 MELANIE, ARE YOU THERE? 67 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,879 SHH. FATHER MUST NOT KNOW OF OUR DIRE STATE. 68 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:53,963 CHILD, I AM FILLED WITH CHRISTMAS CHEER. 69 00:02:53,964 --> 00:02:56,886 WELL, CHRISTMAS CHEER AND SCOTCH. 70 00:02:56,887 --> 00:02:59,929 WELL, IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU SMILING. 71 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:02,222 YES, IT MUST BE GOOD TO SEE... 72 00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:03,644 AT ALL. 73 00:03:05,015 --> 00:03:08,067 TELL ME, CHILD, ARE YOU SMILING? 74 00:03:08,068 --> 00:03:10,070 WELL, OF COURSE I AM. 75 00:03:11,732 --> 00:03:14,023 I FIND CHRISTMAS A SAD TIME. 76 00:03:14,024 --> 00:03:16,946 IT WAS 10 YEARS AGO THIS VERY NIGHT THAT 77 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:20,740 YOUR SAINTED MOTHER DIED, AND I WENT BLIND FROM GRIEF. 78 00:03:20,741 --> 00:03:22,532 WHO KNEW... 79 00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:25,915 THAT TOO MUCH CRYING COULD CAUSE A MAN TO LOSE HIS SIGHT? 80 00:03:25,916 --> 00:03:27,957 I ASSURE YOU THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE 81 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,459 I WAS DOING TOO MUCH OF 82 00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:31,001 THAT COULD HAVE CAUSED THIS BLINDNESS. 83 00:03:33,133 --> 00:03:34,334 STRANGE, I DON'T HEAR 84 00:03:34,335 --> 00:03:35,795 THE SERVANTS BUSTLING ABOUT. 85 00:03:35,796 --> 00:03:37,547 OH, UH, THAT'S BECAUSE 86 00:03:37,548 --> 00:03:38,678 ALL THE SERVANTS ARE 87 00:03:38,679 --> 00:03:39,679 NOCTURNAL NOW. 88 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:40,890 YEAH, THEY WORK 89 00:03:40,891 --> 00:03:41,931 WHILE YOU'RE ASLEEP. 90 00:03:41,932 --> 00:03:44,394 OH, SO LIKE ELVES. 91 00:03:44,395 --> 00:03:46,397 EXACTLY. 92 00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,018 MISS MELANIE. 93 00:03:49,019 --> 00:03:50,560 Melanie: OH, JOSIAH, YOUR ARMS... 94 00:03:50,561 --> 00:03:53,443 I MEAN, YOU'RE HERE. 95 00:03:53,444 --> 00:03:56,696 MISS MELANIE, I HAVE SOME VERY UPSETTING NEWS. 96 00:03:56,697 --> 00:03:58,408 AND AFTER YOU HEAR IT, YOU MAY WISH TO SIT. 97 00:03:58,409 --> 00:03:59,489 OF COURSE, THAT WILL REQUIRE YOU 98 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:01,531 TO PUT ON YOUR SITTING DRESS, SO... 99 00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:03,453 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL JUST TELL YOU. 100 00:04:03,454 --> 00:04:06,536 THE BUTCHERS REFUSE TO SELL US ANY MEAT FOR THE CHRISTMAS ROAST. 101 00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:07,917 - ( gasps ) - WHY ON EARTH 102 00:04:07,918 --> 00:04:09,959 WOULD THE BUTCHER REFUSE OUR MONEY? 103 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,832 AFTER ALL, WE ARE THE RICHEST FAMILY IN THE COUNTY. 104 00:04:12,833 --> 00:04:14,424 COLONEL BURKE, I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE. 105 00:04:14,425 --> 00:04:16,377 WELCOME TO MY WORLD. 106 00:04:18,719 --> 00:04:20,300 LISBETH, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE FATHER OUT 107 00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:22,261 TO HIS CHAIR BY THE DUCK POND THAT HE LOVES SO MUCH. 108 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,933 OH, YES, OF COURSE, 109 00:04:23,934 --> 00:04:26,766 'CAUSE WE STILL HAVE A DUCK POND WITH MANY, MANY HEALTHY DUCKS. 110 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,978 OH, I CAN HEAR THEM NOW. 111 00:04:28,979 --> 00:04:29,979 QUACK, QUACK, QUACK. 112 00:04:29,980 --> 00:04:32,852 MY DUCKS. 113 00:04:32,853 --> 00:04:34,894 ( sighs ) 114 00:04:34,895 --> 00:04:35,945 NO ROAST? 115 00:04:35,946 --> 00:04:37,527 BUT TONIGHT'S DINNER MUST BE PERFECT 116 00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,238 OR BURKEWOOD WILL BE SHUTTERED FOREVER. 117 00:04:39,239 --> 00:04:41,491 BREAKS MY HEART TO SEE YOU SO UPSET, MISS MELANIE. 118 00:04:41,492 --> 00:04:43,323 AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES 119 00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:45,284 TO FIND YOU THAT ROAST FOR TONIGHT'S MEAL. 120 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,826 AND THEN I SHALL COOK IT. 121 00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:47,907 ( gasps ) 122 00:04:47,908 --> 00:04:49,869 BUT HOW WILL YOU HAVE TIME TO PREPARE THE MEAL? 123 00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:51,831 AND WON'T YOU BE TOO BUSY LOOKING AFTER THE HORSES? 124 00:04:51,832 --> 00:04:55,124 I'M AFRAID WE SOLD OFF ALL THE HORSES. 125 00:04:55,125 --> 00:04:56,676 WELL, EXCEPT FOR SILVER BELLS 126 00:04:56,677 --> 00:04:59,008 'CAUSE YOU KNOW, HE'S JUST TOO OLD AND FRAIL. 127 00:04:59,009 --> 00:05:00,299 AW, SILVER BELLS. 128 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,513 REMEMBER AS CHILDREN, WHEN WE WOULD SNEAK OFF 129 00:05:03,514 --> 00:05:04,924 FOR A MIDNIGHT GALLOP? 130 00:05:04,925 --> 00:05:07,016 HOW COULD I FORGET? 131 00:05:07,017 --> 00:05:08,228 ( sighs ) 132 00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,565 I SHOULD GO START COOKING DINNER. 133 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:16,816 ( clears throat ) 134 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:20,610 I'M GONNA TAKE THIS CHAIR IF YOU DON'T MIND... 135 00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:22,443 AS WE ARE SHORT ON FIREWOOD. 136 00:05:26,447 --> 00:05:28,708 OH, NOW I UNDERSTAND. 137 00:05:28,709 --> 00:05:30,830 HE IS THE ONE YOU REALLY LOVE. 138 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:31,831 WHO, JOSIAH? 139 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,753 THE HANDSOME STABLE HAND WHO I GREW UP WITH 140 00:05:33,754 --> 00:05:34,914 AND HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON WITH? 141 00:05:34,915 --> 00:05:37,627 WELL, SOMEONE TREAT THIS ONE WITH SOME STATIC ELECTRICITY, 142 00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,379 BECAUSE THAT IS JUST MADNESS. 143 00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:41,301 UH-HUH. 144 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,676 OH, YOU FOUND A ROAST. 145 00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:49,018 HOW DID YOU CONVINCE THE BUTCHER TO EXTEND US CREDIT? 146 00:05:49,019 --> 00:05:50,601 IT'S NOT FOR YOU TO WORRY ABOUT, YOUNG LADY. 147 00:05:52,232 --> 00:05:53,603 VERY WELL, THEN. 148 00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:54,934 I'LL JUST GO THROW A BLANKET OVER SILVER BELLS. 149 00:05:54,935 --> 00:05:58,528 NO. THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY, 150 00:05:58,529 --> 00:06:00,280 AS SILVER BELLS WILL BE... 151 00:06:01,321 --> 00:06:03,153 QUITE WARM TONIGHT. 152 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,077 YOU MEAN... 153 00:06:11,452 --> 00:06:14,293 YOU WON'T REVEAL THE SECRET INGREDIENT FOR TONIGHT'S MEAL, WILL YOU? 154 00:06:14,294 --> 00:06:15,995 NAY. 155 00:06:15,996 --> 00:06:17,758 "NEIGH"? 156 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,383 THOSE WERE SILVER BELLS' LAST WORDS. 157 00:06:25,506 --> 00:06:28,428 IT'S JUST THAT I WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO MAKE SURE THAT THIS 158 00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:31,010 CHRISTMAS FEAST WAS EXACTLY THE WAY MISS MELANIE WANTED IT TO BE. 159 00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:34,564 WELL DON'T YOU KNOW WHY TONIGHT'S DINNER IS SO IMPORTANT TO MELANIE? 160 00:06:34,565 --> 00:06:36,856 SHE WANTS ALISTAIR TO PROPOSE. 161 00:06:36,857 --> 00:06:39,479 - IS THIS TRUE? - YES, BUT SHE DOESN'T LOVE HIM. 162 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:40,730 YOU MUST STOP IT. 163 00:06:40,731 --> 00:06:42,612 I HAVE A GREAT IDEA. 164 00:06:42,613 --> 00:06:44,524 I'LL TELL ALISTAIR THAT I'M A VEGETARIAN... 165 00:06:44,525 --> 00:06:47,286 THAT'S A NEW DIET THAT ALL THE POOR PEOPLE ARE DOING. 166 00:06:47,287 --> 00:06:50,910 OH, PHEW, YOU FOUND A ROAST. 167 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:54,293 LISTEN, MISS MELANIE, BEFORE ALISTAIR ARRIVES... 168 00:06:54,294 --> 00:06:56,205 YES, JOSIAH? 169 00:06:56,206 --> 00:06:58,838 ...THERE'S SOMETHING YOU NEED TO KNOW. 170 00:06:58,839 --> 00:06:59,839 ( horse whinnies ) 171 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,001 OH, ALISTAIR'S HERE. 172 00:07:02,002 --> 00:07:03,252 OH, HOW DO I LOOK? 173 00:07:03,253 --> 00:07:05,676 DOES THIS BUSTLE MAKE MY BOTTOM LOOK ENORMOUS? 174 00:07:08,098 --> 00:07:09,510 OH, YEAH. 175 00:07:10,891 --> 00:07:11,891 Melanie: OH, GOOD. 176 00:07:11,892 --> 00:07:13,012 THEN I'M OFF TO GREET... 177 00:07:13,013 --> 00:07:15,015 MY FUTURE HUSBAND. 178 00:07:24,154 --> 00:07:25,525 MEL, I HAVE TO SAY 179 00:07:25,526 --> 00:07:27,827 I FIND ONE PART OF THAT STORY HARD TO BELIEVE. 180 00:07:27,828 --> 00:07:28,908 WHICH PART? 181 00:07:28,909 --> 00:07:31,160 THE WHOLE THING. 182 00:07:31,161 --> 00:07:33,993 HEY. WE GOT OUR LAST-MINUTE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING DONE. 183 00:07:33,994 --> 00:07:36,836 AND RYDER WRESTLED A SMALL CHILD OVER A HIGHLANDER TOY. 184 00:07:36,837 --> 00:07:38,748 AND WON. 185 00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:41,541 OOH, OOH, OOH. CAN I PUT THE SILVER STAR ON TOP OF THE TREE? 186 00:07:41,542 --> 00:07:44,544 UH, NO. ACTUALLY, WE HAVEN'T DECIDED WHICH ORNAMENT IS GONNA BE GOING ON TOP OF THE TREE. 187 00:07:44,545 --> 00:07:46,756 YOUR AUNT MEL'S TRYING TO CONVINCE ME THIS SILVER STAR 188 00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:49,509 HOLDS SOME SPECIAL PLACE IN BURKE FAMILY HISTORY. 189 00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:50,850 REALLY? I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT. 190 00:07:50,851 --> 00:07:52,892 WELL, THEN YOU TWO SHOULD SIT DOWN 191 00:07:52,893 --> 00:07:54,804 AND HEAR THIS STORY ABOUT YOUR GREAT-GREAT-GRANDMOTHER. 192 00:07:54,805 --> 00:07:56,355 NO, WAIT. SHE WAS MY GREAT-GREAT-GRANDMOTHER, 193 00:07:56,356 --> 00:07:57,937 WHICH WOULD MAKE HER YOUR GREAT-GREAT-GREAT... 194 00:07:57,938 --> 00:07:59,940 WHATEVER. SHE WAS AWESOME, OKAY? 195 00:08:03,564 --> 00:08:05,905 HERE, ALISTAIR. SIT NEXT TO ME. 196 00:08:05,906 --> 00:08:07,907 IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE, MISS MELANIE. 197 00:08:07,908 --> 00:08:09,909 HERE'S YOUR ROAST, SIR. 198 00:08:09,910 --> 00:08:12,662 ( chuckles ) TELL ME, ALISTAIR, 199 00:08:12,663 --> 00:08:15,536 HAVE YOU EVER SEEN GRANDER CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS? 200 00:08:17,958 --> 00:08:20,000 A... ACTUALLY I HAVE. 201 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,623 OH, GOOD ONE. ( chuckles ) 202 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,216 YOU MUST SAY SOMETHING TO MELANIE. 203 00:08:27,217 --> 00:08:28,678 SHE CAN'T MARRY ALISTAIR. 204 00:08:28,679 --> 00:08:29,799 AH, LOOK AT HIM. 205 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,761 HE'S WAY TOO SHY TO ASK FOR HER HAND. 206 00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:33,132 ( Melanie giggles ) 207 00:08:33,133 --> 00:08:35,094 WELL, MELANIE MIGHT ASK HIM. 208 00:08:35,095 --> 00:08:37,056 SHE'S A BOLD WOMAN ON THE CUSP OF A NEW CENTURY. 209 00:08:37,057 --> 00:08:38,688 ( gasps ) THE OTHER DAY, 210 00:08:38,689 --> 00:08:40,980 SHE WORE A DRESS THAT SHOWED ALMOST HER ENTIRE ANKLE. 211 00:08:40,981 --> 00:08:43,774 OH. HER BARE ANKLE? 212 00:08:46,066 --> 00:08:48,068 I'LL BE BANKING THAT IMAGE FOR LATER. 213 00:08:49,950 --> 00:08:53,203 MY, I'M SO HUNGRY I COULD EAT A HORSE. 214 00:09:02,082 --> 00:09:03,713 THE ZIPPER HASN'T BEEN INVENTED YET, 215 00:09:03,714 --> 00:09:05,666 SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT GESTURE MEANS. 216 00:09:10,430 --> 00:09:12,341 WELL, THAT WAS QUITE A FEAST. 217 00:09:12,342 --> 00:09:13,342 OH, THAT? 218 00:09:13,343 --> 00:09:14,513 WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE EAT 219 00:09:14,514 --> 00:09:15,765 WHEN WE DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK. 220 00:09:15,766 --> 00:09:17,266 HMM. 221 00:09:17,267 --> 00:09:19,018 IT IS BEAUTIFUL OUT HERE. 222 00:09:19,019 --> 00:09:20,309 MMM, AND IT ALL BELONGS TO ME... 223 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:21,891 AND WHOMEVER I MARRY. 224 00:09:21,892 --> 00:09:24,734 WELL, JUST THE OTHER DAY I WAS SAYING TO MY HUSBAND... 225 00:09:24,735 --> 00:09:26,065 OH, DID I SAY HUSBAND? 226 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,818 I MEANT, FATHER. I DON'T HAVE A HUSBAND. 227 00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:30,359 PERHAPS I WILL SOMEDAY. 228 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,451 HAVE A FATHER? 229 00:09:32,452 --> 00:09:34,954 NO, SILLY, A HUSBAND. 230 00:09:34,955 --> 00:09:36,575 TELL ME, JOSIAH, 231 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,499 WHAT ARE MELANIE AND ALISTAIR UP TO ON THE VERANDA? 232 00:09:40,961 --> 00:09:42,793 AT THE MOMENT, SIR, THEY ARE... 233 00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:47,506 HAVING POLITE... INTERCOURSE. 234 00:09:47,507 --> 00:09:51,260 DESCRIBE THEIR INTERCOURSE TO ME. 235 00:09:51,261 --> 00:09:52,341 WELL, SIR, 236 00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:55,845 RIGHT NOW, MISS MELANIE IS LAUGHING... 237 00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:57,677 AS ONLY SHE CAN. 238 00:09:57,678 --> 00:10:00,980 HERE SHE PLAYFULLY TOSSES HER HAIR 239 00:10:00,981 --> 00:10:02,932 AND HER EYES SHINE SO BRIGHT. 240 00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:05,895 OH, DO ME A FAVOR, GOOD JOSIAH... 241 00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:08,649 LAUGH AS SHE IS LAUGHING. 242 00:10:14,574 --> 00:10:16,115 SIR, I DON'T WANT TO... 243 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,118 ( stutters ) I-I AM YOUR BOSS. 244 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,161 YES, SIR. 245 00:10:22,162 --> 00:10:23,913 UM... 246 00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:25,915 ( feminine giggle ) 247 00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,797 OH. 248 00:10:27,798 --> 00:10:29,839 ( feminine giggle ) 249 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,630 ( feminine giggle ) 250 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,552 WHY, ALISTAIR, 251 00:10:33,553 --> 00:10:35,755 YOU LOOK AS THOUGH YOU'RE GONNA KISS ME. 252 00:10:35,756 --> 00:10:37,807 I DO? OH NO, I WOULDN'T PRESUME 253 00:10:37,808 --> 00:10:39,018 TO DO SUCH A THING, MA'AM. 254 00:10:39,019 --> 00:10:40,349 WELL, I WOULDN'T MIND IF YOU DID... 255 00:10:40,350 --> 00:10:42,021 NOT THAT I KNOW MUCH ABOUT KISSING, 256 00:10:42,022 --> 00:10:43,022 BUT FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN 257 00:10:43,023 --> 00:10:44,353 AT THE MAGIC LANTERN SHOW, 258 00:10:44,354 --> 00:10:46,356 IT GOES A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS. 259 00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:52,902 W-WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW? 260 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,113 I COULD TELL YOU, SIR, 261 00:10:54,114 --> 00:10:55,484 BUT THEN I'D HAVE TO GOUGE OUT MY EYES, 262 00:10:55,485 --> 00:10:57,907 RIP OFF MY EARS, AND CUT OUT MY TONGUE. 263 00:10:57,908 --> 00:10:59,118 WELL, IN THAT CASE, 264 00:10:59,119 --> 00:11:00,490 SKIP IT. 265 00:11:03,583 --> 00:11:04,704 WOW. 266 00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,786 WELL, IF WE WERE HUSBAND AND WIFE, 267 00:11:06,787 --> 00:11:09,129 WE COULD DO THAT EVERY SUNDAY. 268 00:11:10,791 --> 00:11:12,752 REALLY? 269 00:11:12,753 --> 00:11:13,753 THEN LET'S GET MARRIED. 270 00:11:13,754 --> 00:11:15,174 ( gasps ) OH, ALISTAIR, 271 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,056 SAY IT AGAIN. BUT THIS TIME, 272 00:11:17,057 --> 00:11:18,677 WHILE PICKING UP MY HANDKERCHIEF. 273 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,179 OKAY, NOW BEND THAT KNEE. 274 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,560 YEAH, RIGHT THERE. 275 00:11:21,561 --> 00:11:23,222 OKAY, AND NOW SAY IT. 276 00:11:23,223 --> 00:11:26,565 MELANIE, WILL YOU MARRY ME? 277 00:11:26,566 --> 00:11:27,897 ( gasps ) OH, ALISTAIR, 278 00:11:27,898 --> 00:11:28,979 THIS IS SUCH A SURPRISE. 279 00:11:34,654 --> 00:11:35,905 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 280 00:11:35,906 --> 00:11:36,906 PUTTING AWAY LEFTOVERS. 281 00:11:36,907 --> 00:11:39,779 SILVER BELLS WAS A FINE OLD STALLION. 282 00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:41,530 SHOULD LAST US THE REST OF THE WINTER. 283 00:11:41,531 --> 00:11:43,913 NO, I MEAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 284 00:11:43,914 --> 00:11:45,915 YOU HAVE TO TELL MELANIE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HER, 285 00:11:45,916 --> 00:11:47,706 OTHERWISE SHE'LL WIND UP WITH THE WRONG MAN. 286 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,829 AND WHEN YOU DIE, THEY'LL WRITE UPON YOUR GRAVESTONE, 287 00:11:49,830 --> 00:11:54,003 "HERE LIES JOSIAH. HE DIED SAD AND ALONE, BUT HE HAD HIS PRIDE. 288 00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:56,006 "SO THERE'S THAT." 289 00:11:58,428 --> 00:11:59,969 YOU KNOW WHAT? 290 00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:01,971 YOU'RE RIGHT. 291 00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,142 YOU'RE PRETTY WISE FOR AN URCHIN. 292 00:12:03,143 --> 00:12:05,936 OH, WELL, I WAS FIRST IN MY CLASS AT URCHIN SCHOOL. 293 00:12:07,517 --> 00:12:09,189 I'M GONNA GO TELL MISS MELANIE THE TRUTH. 294 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:11,901 ALISTAIR HAS ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM, 295 00:12:11,902 --> 00:12:13,312 AND I SAID YES. 296 00:12:13,313 --> 00:12:15,484 YES, YES, YES, YES, YES. 297 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,656 THAT IS WONDERFUL NEWS. 298 00:12:17,657 --> 00:12:20,030 JOSIAH, BREAK OUT OUR FINEST CHAMPAGNE. 299 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,035 ( cheek pops ) 300 00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:28,457 THAT'S SOMETHING I LEARNED TO DO ON THE CONTINENT. 301 00:12:28,458 --> 00:12:29,458 OH. 302 00:12:29,459 --> 00:12:30,579 WE SHOULD BE MARRIED TONIGHT. 303 00:12:30,580 --> 00:12:32,832 I WILL RIDE HOME AND RETRIEVE MY FATHER 304 00:12:32,833 --> 00:12:34,964 AND THE YOUNG VICAR FROM OUR PARRISH, 305 00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:37,216 AND THEN YOU AND I CAN DO SOME MORE OF THAT KISSING STUFF, 306 00:12:37,217 --> 00:12:38,217 - RIGHT? - MM-HMM. 307 00:12:38,218 --> 00:12:39,298 OOH. ( chuckles ) 308 00:12:39,299 --> 00:12:40,760 ( clears throat ) 309 00:12:41,932 --> 00:12:43,433 CONGRATULATIONS, MISS MELANIE. 310 00:12:44,434 --> 00:12:48,188 MELANIE, YOU MUST BE THRILLED. 311 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:52,441 SHE'S BEHIND YOU. 312 00:12:52,442 --> 00:12:53,442 SO SORRY. 313 00:12:53,443 --> 00:12:56,445 DEAR, DEAR. OH, MY CHI... 314 00:12:56,446 --> 00:12:57,736 WHY... 315 00:12:57,737 --> 00:12:59,949 ARE THOSE TEARS ON YOUR FACE? 316 00:12:59,950 --> 00:13:02,531 YES, FATHER. TEARS OF JOY AND NOTHING ELSE. 317 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:05,825 FOR I AM SOON TO BE MRS. ALISTAIR... 318 00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,867 WHATEVER HIS LAST NAME IS. HE'S RICH. 319 00:13:07,868 --> 00:13:09,870 - ( sobs ) - ( laughs ) 320 00:13:13,503 --> 00:13:14,793 JOSIAH, 321 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,545 THANK YOU AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR HELP TONIGHT. 322 00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:18,377 THIS PROPOSAL WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED WITHOUT YOU. 323 00:13:18,378 --> 00:13:20,299 YOU'RE WELCOME, MISS MELANIE. 324 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,760 ALTHOUGH, DON'T EXPECT 325 00:13:21,761 --> 00:13:22,972 MY ASSISTANCE ON YOUR HONEYMOON, NOW. 326 00:13:22,973 --> 00:13:24,594 ( both chuckle ) 327 00:13:28,348 --> 00:13:29,518 LISTEN, MISS MELANIE. 328 00:13:29,519 --> 00:13:31,270 SINCE BURKEWOOD IS NOW SAVED, 329 00:13:31,271 --> 00:13:32,601 I WANT YOU TO KNOW 330 00:13:32,602 --> 00:13:34,984 THIS'LL BE MY LAST DAY IN YOUR SERVICE. 331 00:13:34,985 --> 00:13:36,986 WELL, DON'T I GET A FORTNIGHT'S NOTICE? 332 00:13:36,987 --> 00:13:39,990 IF YOU WERE PAYING ME, YES. 333 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,441 BUT BEFORE I GO, 334 00:13:42,442 --> 00:13:44,034 I ACTUALLY WANT TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING. 335 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,827 I FORGED THIS WITH MY BARE HANDS. 336 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:52,001 I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD HANG IT ON THE CHRISTMAS TREE 337 00:13:52,002 --> 00:13:53,542 TO REMEMBER ME BY. 338 00:13:53,543 --> 00:13:56,876 OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SILVER STAR. 339 00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:57,917 ( sighs ) 340 00:13:57,918 --> 00:13:59,508 PALES IN COMPARISON TO THE LADY WHO'S HOLDING IT. 341 00:13:59,509 --> 00:14:00,921 ( sighs ) 342 00:14:03,173 --> 00:14:04,173 ( both inhale sharply ) 343 00:14:04,174 --> 00:14:05,594 - NOW... - ( exhales ) 344 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,766 IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME. 345 00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:10,059 I'M GONNA GO SHOVEL THE REST OF THE MANURE BEFORE I LEAVE. 346 00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:11,810 ( sighs ) WELL, DON'T GO! 347 00:14:11,811 --> 00:14:12,812 DON'T GO? 348 00:14:14,564 --> 00:14:16,685 SHOVEL THE REST OF THE MANURE? 349 00:14:16,686 --> 00:14:20,649 YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GO SHOVEL THE MANURE, 350 00:14:20,650 --> 00:14:22,652 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO. 351 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,035 THANK YOU, JOSIAH. 352 00:14:26,036 --> 00:14:27,247 ( sighs ) 353 00:14:28,408 --> 00:14:29,409 ( sighs ) 354 00:14:30,410 --> 00:14:32,411 OH, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT PRETTY STAR? 355 00:14:32,412 --> 00:14:34,623 JOSIAH MADE IT FOR ME. 356 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:36,957 HE HAS TAKEN HIS LEAVE TONIGHT OF BURKEWOOD FOREVER. 357 00:14:38,548 --> 00:14:41,420 JOSIAH MEANS A GREAT DEAL TO YOU, DOESN'T HE, MISS MELANIE? 358 00:14:41,421 --> 00:14:42,962 WHY? 359 00:14:42,963 --> 00:14:45,674 BECAUSE WE SPENT OUR IDYLLIC YOUTH PLAYING COUNTRY PHYSICIAN? 360 00:14:45,675 --> 00:14:47,636 PISH POSH. 361 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:52,012 PERHAPS SOME NIGHT AIR WILL HELP DRY THESE TEARS OF NOT CARING. 362 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,225 ( clock chimes ) 363 00:14:56,226 --> 00:15:00,019 I HEAR FAINT CHIMES FROM ACROSS THE TOWN SQUARE. 364 00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:02,022 THAT MEANS IT'S CHRISTMAS. 365 00:15:03,363 --> 00:15:04,944 ( exhales deeply ) 366 00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:06,405 OH, MISS MELANIE, 367 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:07,736 LOOK AT THAT BRIGHT STAR. 368 00:15:07,737 --> 00:15:09,828 PERHAPS THAT'S THE SAME STAR THE WISE MEN SAW. 369 00:15:09,829 --> 00:15:10,869 PERHAPS. 370 00:15:10,870 --> 00:15:12,952 IF YOU WISH UPON A STAR... 371 00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:14,334 ( star twinkles ) 372 00:15:17,707 --> 00:15:20,339 GREAT CAESAR'S GHOST! 373 00:15:20,340 --> 00:15:23,752 MY SIGHT HAS BEEN RESTORED! 374 00:15:23,753 --> 00:15:25,134 IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE. 375 00:15:25,135 --> 00:15:26,545 OH, FATHER, IS IT REALLY TRUE? 376 00:15:26,546 --> 00:15:27,546 YES! 377 00:15:27,547 --> 00:15:28,677 I CAN SEE. 378 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,929 AND I CAN SEE IN YOUR EYES 379 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,721 A DEEP SORROW. 380 00:15:32,722 --> 00:15:34,433 BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LOVE ALISTAIR. 381 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,894 SHE IS IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER. 382 00:15:35,895 --> 00:15:37,817 SHUSH, CHILD, OR YOU'RE BACK ON THE STREET. 383 00:15:39,269 --> 00:15:40,769 WELL, WHO IS IT? 384 00:15:40,770 --> 00:15:42,361 ( sighs ) IT DOESN'T MATTER. 385 00:15:42,362 --> 00:15:43,983 I MUST MARRY ALISTAIR. 386 00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:45,444 OTHERWISE, BURKEWOOD IS LOST. 387 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,236 WHY? WE ARE WEALTHY. 388 00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:49,198 OH, FATHER, I'M AFRAID NOT. 389 00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:50,660 LOOK AROUND YOU. 390 00:15:51,661 --> 00:15:52,871 OH DEAR GOD. 391 00:15:52,872 --> 00:15:54,744 THIS PLACE IS A DUMP. 392 00:15:55,915 --> 00:15:58,377 BUT WITH ALISTAIR'S FAMILY MONEY, ALL WILL BE RESTORED. 393 00:15:58,378 --> 00:16:03,292 MY DEAR, YOU CANNOT SACRIFICE YOUR HAPPINESS TO SAVE A HOUSE. 394 00:16:03,293 --> 00:16:05,964 YOU MUST MARRY THE MAN YOU LOVE. 395 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,087 OH, FATHER, DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT? 396 00:16:08,088 --> 00:16:09,508 I DO. 397 00:16:09,509 --> 00:16:11,430 WHAT MEANS MOST TO ME IN THIS WORLD 398 00:16:11,431 --> 00:16:13,303 IS YOUR HAPPINESS, MY CHILD. 399 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:17,597 ALTHOUGH, IT WOULDN'T KILL YOU TO PICK UP A BROOM. 400 00:16:18,768 --> 00:16:20,019 MISS MELANIE, 401 00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,401 I'M GONNA BE GOING NOW. 402 00:16:22,402 --> 00:16:23,813 I'VE MADE MY BED... 403 00:16:25,605 --> 00:16:27,156 INTO THIS STYLISH STRAW HAT 404 00:16:27,157 --> 00:16:28,818 IN CASE I GET A JOB ON A RIVERBOAT. 405 00:16:29,819 --> 00:16:30,989 NICE HAT. 406 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,741 I'LL BE SORRY TO SEE YOU GO. 407 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,703 WAIT A MINUTE. 408 00:16:34,704 --> 00:16:36,115 COLONEL, YOU CAN SEE? 409 00:16:36,116 --> 00:16:38,618 YES, IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE. 410 00:16:39,619 --> 00:16:41,381 I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT IT LATER. 411 00:16:42,332 --> 00:16:43,923 FAREWELL, JOSIAH. 412 00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:46,966 FAREWELL, MISS MELANIE. 413 00:16:47,887 --> 00:16:49,798 UH-HUH. 414 00:16:49,799 --> 00:16:51,390 I KNOW THAT LOOK. 415 00:16:51,391 --> 00:16:54,223 THAT IS THE LOOK OF LOVE. 416 00:16:54,224 --> 00:16:55,844 YES. 417 00:16:55,845 --> 00:16:57,096 YES, IT'S TRUE. 418 00:16:57,097 --> 00:16:58,518 I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED JOSIAH. 419 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,639 YOU HAVE? 420 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,642 I CAN NO LONGER DENY THAT I LOVE THIS 421 00:17:03,643 --> 00:17:06,024 DIRTY, SMELLY, DESTITUTE STABLE HAND, 422 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,148 WHO IS ALSO VERY HANDSOME AND KIND. 423 00:17:09,819 --> 00:17:12,532 PERHAPS, LEAD WITH THAT THE NEXT TIME. 424 00:17:14,204 --> 00:17:15,704 OH, MISS MELANIE, I'VE LOVED YOU 425 00:17:15,705 --> 00:17:16,915 EVER SINCE THE FIRST TIME 426 00:17:16,916 --> 00:17:17,997 THAT YOU AND I RODE SILVER BELLS TOGETHER. 427 00:17:19,829 --> 00:17:20,919 IF THIS IS TO BE 428 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,161 YOUR BRIDE, ALISTAIR, 429 00:17:22,162 --> 00:17:23,873 I THINK WE MAY HAVE A PROBLEM. 430 00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:27,546 IS THIS THE CHASTE ANGEL 431 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,218 YOU'VE BEEN GOING ON ABOUT, MY SON? 432 00:17:29,219 --> 00:17:30,969 IT IS. 433 00:17:30,970 --> 00:17:33,172 PARDON ME, STABLE BOY, 434 00:17:33,173 --> 00:17:35,885 BUT I BELIEVE THAT BELONGS TO ME. 435 00:17:36,886 --> 00:17:39,228 OH, I BELONG TO NO ONE. 436 00:17:39,229 --> 00:17:40,439 I AM MY OWN WOMAN, 437 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:41,770 AND I MAKE MY OWN CHOICES. 438 00:17:41,771 --> 00:17:42,941 I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO VOTE, 439 00:17:42,942 --> 00:17:44,523 I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO HOLD OFFICE, 440 00:17:44,524 --> 00:17:45,814 I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO SIGN A CONTRACT 441 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,276 OR OPEN A BANK ACCOUNT... 442 00:17:47,277 --> 00:17:49,528 YOU ALSO CAN'T OWN PROPERTY OR SMOKE TOBACCO IN PUBLIC. 443 00:17:49,529 --> 00:17:50,739 THANK YOU, SISTER. 444 00:17:50,740 --> 00:17:52,821 BUT I CAN CHOOSE THE MAN I LOVE. 445 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,113 THAT'S RIGHT, AND SHE LOVES ME, 446 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:55,864 SO I THINK IT'S TIME THAT YOU MOVE ALONG, 447 00:17:55,865 --> 00:17:56,905 ALISTAIR. 448 00:17:56,906 --> 00:17:59,748 SO AM I TO PERFORM A WEDDING CEREMONY, OR NOT? 449 00:17:59,749 --> 00:18:00,959 EITHER WAY, 450 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,962 I WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE DINNER. 451 00:18:04,254 --> 00:18:07,876 I PROPOSE WE SETTLE WHO GETS THE LADY 452 00:18:07,877 --> 00:18:10,260 WITH A MODERN-FASHIONED DUEL. 453 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,263 - ( Melanie and Lisbeth gasp ) - EXCUSE ME. 454 00:18:18,017 --> 00:18:19,978 I SUPPOSE I'M GONNA GET ONE OF THOSE, RIGHT? 455 00:18:19,979 --> 00:18:20,810 NOPE. 456 00:18:24,314 --> 00:18:26,025 A REAL GENTLEMAN, I SEE. 457 00:18:27,026 --> 00:18:28,027 ( grunts ) 458 00:18:29,729 --> 00:18:31,530 SOMEONE STOP THEM. YOU'RE HIS FATHER. 459 00:18:31,531 --> 00:18:32,941 GO FOR HIS THROAT, ALISTAIR! 460 00:18:32,942 --> 00:18:34,863 AND DON'T GET BLOOD ON YOUR SHIRT. 461 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,996 YOUR MOTHER WILL BE VEXED. 462 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,873 I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE FIGHTING OVER ME. 463 00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,004 THIS IS ABSOLUTELY... 464 00:18:46,005 --> 00:18:48,007 FLATTERING. 465 00:18:52,462 --> 00:18:53,463 ( grunting ) 466 00:18:59,309 --> 00:19:00,469 ( both grunting ) 467 00:19:00,470 --> 00:19:01,470 Alistair's Father: STOP! 468 00:19:01,471 --> 00:19:03,932 THAT MARK, HOW DID YOU GET THAT? 469 00:19:03,933 --> 00:19:06,685 SIR, I WAS BORN THIS WAY 470 00:19:06,686 --> 00:19:08,897 MY ELDEST SON HAD SUCH A MARK. 471 00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:12,441 HE WAS STOLEN FROM US AS A BABE BY TRAVELING FORTUNE TELLERS. 472 00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:13,982 I WAS RAISED BY TRAVELING FORTUNE TELLERS 473 00:19:13,983 --> 00:19:15,194 AND NEVER TOLD OF MY TRUE BIRTH. 474 00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:17,777 THAT MEANS YOU TWO ARE BROTHERS! 475 00:19:21,581 --> 00:19:22,831 BROTHER? 476 00:19:22,832 --> 00:19:24,663 BROTHER! 477 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,336 ( both laughing joyously ) 478 00:19:27,337 --> 00:19:29,288 FATHER, AT LAST! 479 00:19:29,289 --> 00:19:30,839 WHEN DO I GET TO MEET MOTHER? 480 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,502 AS SOON AS SHE RETURNS FROM FOLLOWING THAT HEARTTHROB 481 00:19:33,503 --> 00:19:36,175 JOHN PHILIP SOUSA ON HIS CONCERT TOUR. 482 00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:38,467 JOSIAH, 483 00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:40,008 AS MY ELDEST SON, 484 00:19:40,009 --> 00:19:43,433 YOU ARE NOW HEIR TO MY ENTIRE FORTUNE. 485 00:19:46,105 --> 00:19:47,936 PRIMOGENITURE IN YOUR FACE. 486 00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:51,150 WHAT? WELL, THAT SUCKS. 487 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,815 WELL, THIS MEANS WE CAN BE MARRIED, AND BURKEWOOD CAN BE SAVED. 488 00:19:56,816 --> 00:19:58,577 OH, AND TRUE LOVE HAS WON OUT! 489 00:19:58,578 --> 00:20:02,241 MY LADY, WOULD YOU DO ME THE HONOR OF BEING MY WIFE? 490 00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:04,874 A THOUSAND TIMES, YES. 491 00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:08,707 SAVE IT FOR THE CEREMONY, YOU TWO. 492 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,500 YOUNG VICAR, WOULD YOU PLEASE GET MY DAUGHTER HITCHED? 493 00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:12,881 Vicar: IT WOULD BE MY JOY 494 00:20:12,882 --> 00:20:15,294 AND PLEASURE TO JOIN THESE TWO IN HOLY MATRIMONY... 495 00:20:15,295 --> 00:20:17,297 AS SOON AS I GET SOMETHING TO EAT. 496 00:20:18,548 --> 00:20:19,968 ( gasps ) I HAVE A GREAT IDEA. 497 00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:21,930 WE COULD RIDE SILVER BELLS TOGETHER AGAIN, 498 00:20:21,931 --> 00:20:23,472 BUT THIS TIME DOWN THE AISLE. 499 00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:25,604 MY DEAR, 500 00:20:25,605 --> 00:20:28,016 THERE'S SOMETHING I SHOULD TELL YOU ABOUT SILVER BELLS. 501 00:20:28,017 --> 00:20:29,018 ( Lisbeth clears throat ) 502 00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:32,522 IT CAN WAIT. ( chuckles ) 503 00:20:39,158 --> 00:20:41,069 AND SO THAT NIGHT, MELANIE AND JOSIAH 504 00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:43,862 WERE MARRIED BENEATH THIS VERY SILVER STAR. 505 00:20:43,863 --> 00:20:45,033 AW. 506 00:20:45,034 --> 00:20:46,826 WHAT A ROMANTIC LOAD OF CRAP. 507 00:20:48,578 --> 00:20:49,788 WAIT, I DON'T GET IT. 508 00:20:49,789 --> 00:20:51,040 WHAT'S THE NAME OF THIS MOVIE AGAIN? 509 00:20:52,672 --> 00:20:54,374 YOU BELIEVE ME, DON'T YOU, JOE? 510 00:20:55,875 --> 00:20:56,836 NOT EVEN A LITTLE. 511 00:20:56,837 --> 00:20:58,507 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, HONEY? 512 00:20:58,508 --> 00:21:00,088 I GOTTA TELL YOU THE FACT THAT YOU WENT 513 00:21:00,089 --> 00:21:01,089 TO SUCH INCREDIBLE LENGTHS 514 00:21:01,090 --> 00:21:02,180 TO MAKE SURE THAT THIS STAR 515 00:21:02,181 --> 00:21:03,802 GETS THE TOP SPOT ON THIS TREE, 516 00:21:03,803 --> 00:21:05,474 IS BOTH WHAT I FIND 517 00:21:05,475 --> 00:21:06,885 MOST ANNOYING ABOUT YOU, 518 00:21:06,886 --> 00:21:07,887 AND YET... 519 00:21:08,938 --> 00:21:10,809 WHAT I LOVE MOST ABOUT YOU. 520 00:21:10,810 --> 00:21:11,810 AW, HONEY. LETTING ME 521 00:21:11,811 --> 00:21:12,811 HAVE MY WAY IS THE BEST 522 00:21:12,812 --> 00:21:13,893 CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER. 523 00:21:14,894 --> 00:21:15,944 Joe: OH. 524 00:21:15,945 --> 00:21:17,446 WELL, THEN I THINK MY SHOPPING IS DONE. 525 00:21:17,447 --> 00:21:19,278 NO. YOU STILL GOTTA BUY ME STUFF.